Completing your Advance Care Plan is a meaningful step. Sharing it with the people close to you is just as important.
When those who matter most understand what’s important to you, they feel more prepared and confident making decisions that reflect your values and goals if you’re ever unable to make them yourself.
These conversations can be emotional, and it’s okay if you’re not sure where to start. You’re not alone, and we’re here to help.
Who to share your plan with:
Start with your medical decision maker, the person you’ve chosen to make care decisions on your behalf only if you’re ever unable to make them yourself. Your plan will be their guide if that moment ever comes, so it’s important they know they were chosen, what their role means, and that they’re willing to honor the choices you’ve made.
From there, consider sharing with others close to you: a partner, an adult child, or a trusted friend. You can do this all together or separately, whatever feels more comfortable. The goal is for everyone to be on the same page.
Before the conversation, prepare with this checklist:
☐ Log in to your Koda account here and review your plan to make sure it still reflects what matters most to you today. If you’re having trouble accessing it, we’re happy to help. Contact us
☐ Update your plan if anything has changed, such as your care preferences, values, or decision maker.
☐ Share a copy of your up-to-date plan with the people you want to speak on your behalf.
☐ Set aside a calm, focused time and let them know you’d like to talk. Here’s an example of how to invite them:
“After dinner, I’d like to talk through my Advance Care Plan with you. It’s important to me that you understand my preferences.“
Talking points to touch on:
- Why you decided to do this planning
- What quality of life means to you personally
- The values, preferences, and goals behind your choices
- Why you’re sharing it with them and where to find their copy if it’s ever needed
A few tips when having the conversation:
☐ Use your plan as a guide and walk through it one question at a time, giving everyone space to listen and ask questions.
☐ It’s okay if someone would make different choices for themselves, what matters most is that they understand and respect yours.
☐ There’s no need to rush the conversation. What’s important is making sure your values are understood.
After the conversation:
Look back on what came up. It’s common for preferences to shift, or for someone to reconsider their choice of medical decision maker after these conversations. If you do need to make any changes, you can update your plan anytime through your Koda account at no extra cost.
Many people feel a sense of relief once the conversation has happened, even if it felt difficult at first. We’d love to hear how it went! Email us at care@kodahealthcare.com with your story.